Are You a Boss?

It's my honor to share the following essay written by my friend Maegan. She's been an inspiration to me for years and is making a huge difference in the lives of countless kids through her role as a high school English teacher, as well as any other humans lucky enough to have her influence in their lives. Enjoy! - Uncle Marty

Are You a Boss?

And What Does This Mean If You Are a Woman?

by Maegan Prout

“I’m a boss! / I plan the shots (Huh!) I call the calls (Huh!).” This excerpt of lyrics from Meek Mill’s rap song "I’m a Boss" brings attention to this popular phrase used in our 21st century society. While Meek Mill is a male hip hop artist, the significance of being ‘a boss’ has become most frequently associated with female empowerment. It functions as an ode to women who stand against traditional expectations of submissiveness, dependence, and inferiority to their male counterparts. Yet, what does it truly mean to be ‘a boss?’ The word itself refers to control and possessing the ability to make important decisions, as Meek Mill proclaims, “I plan the shots, I call the calls.” As more women are advancing in education and occupying executive roles, they are in such positions to be deemed ‘the boss.’ 

Expectations of Female Bosses

If you are a woman and you are in a supervisory role, is it essential to use your authority to oppress and demean others? Must manipulative tactics be employed to ensure no one else comes along and threatens your status? While it is imperative to encourage the advancement of the female presence in male-dominated arenas, it is equally essential to cultivate an attitude of community and respect. The goal of having more women in positions of power is not to support the oppressive system of ‘kill or be killed.’ Instead, it should be an avenue in which more ladies see a reflection of themselves and internalize a degree of hope within, to see that it is possible to achieve what may have otherwise seemed impossible. Most importantly, this potentiality comes with maintaining integrity--not cutting others down in a race to the top.

Women Vs. Women

It cannot be ignored that as more women take on leadership roles, the treatment given and received is not always positive. In fact, according to a 2016 Forbes article "Women In The Workplace: Are Women Tougher On Other Women?," author Karsten Strauss highlights data from a series of surveys in which women found themselves on the receiving end of attacks by other women in their respective careers: “... of the 45% of people who said they had been bullied in the workplace, 40% said they were bullied by women. Also, “women who were considered workplace bullies targeted other women 68% of the time.” The online newspaper The Independent based in the UK, noted similar statistics in Olivia Petter’s 2022 article analyzing the causes for workplace dissension among women. Petter points out, “The Workplace Bullying Institute found that women are bullied up to 80 percent of the time by other women, while other studies have shown that women who report to women experience a greater frequency of bullying, abuse and job sabotage.”

What Do We Do?

So, what is the solution? Do we simply tell women to ‘play nice’ as they seek to acquire the limited positions of power available to them? The lack of opportunities for career advancement contributes significantly to the dilemma. Oftentimes, there is added pressure on women to be aggressive, domineering, and assertive in order to prove their competency. At the same time, the stigma of appearing “too bossy” is ever present. As Thuy and Milo Sindell put it, in their 2016 piece titled The Gender and Leadership Conversation Needs New Focus, “women have to do and overcome more to get leadership positions, and once they attain them, women have to do more to be [seen] as effective.” This gender bias is undeniable and often internalized. Women can feel an obligation to prove to themselves and other women that they are worthy. Oftentimes this fight for validation can manifest itself as an attack on their own gender. This is heightened with the feeling that there simply are not enough leadership roles for women to fill. Once they do reach a level of success, the need to secure it by bringing down any female competition seems like the only logical means of maintaining one’s title as ‘the boss.’  

It Is Up to Us

The answer to this oppressive cycle is found at the individual level. It is up to us as women to maintain our integrity and not fear one another. We are the ones who can create additional seats at the proverbial ‘table’ by redefining the definition of ‘a boss.’ Being an example to the next generation of young women is crucial. Taking advantage of mentorship opportunities, such as those provided by Dream It, Be It: Career Support for Girls, can help to build the foundation for what it means to be a genuine leader. In teaching the youth the importance of honesty, integrity, and empathy as they seek to reach their goals, one is also reeducating themselves.

No doubt, in order to handle the responsibilities of an executive position, one must be assertive and make difficult decisions that may lead to a decrease in likeability. At the same time, that should never be an excuse to tear down other women, or anyone for that matter, as a means of protection. A real boss recognizes the value of all of those around them. Or as Meek Mill put it, “A boss is one who guarantee we gon' eat.” It is possible to do just that without destroying others along the way.

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Maegan Prout is a high school English teacher for Jersey City Public Schools. She loves her students and often turns the literary pieces that she teaches into theatrical productions. She also enjoys writing and when the creative mood hits her, she create pieces to share what's on her mind. Although she does not have an office site to showcase her writing, you can follow her on Instagram at @schivonne9.